Friday

I keep getting waves of total desperation, abject panic and worry. Odd seeing as i've been making things again, some brooches etc, but all the time i just think it futile to just make things for no reason at all.
Yesterday went to collect the car as its been fixed, fuck £660 fucking quid. Walked three miles to get it, way back visited Mutual friend. She was amazed to see me and said she had just resolved to phone me and ask me to visit. I helped her set up her new MP3 Player etc.. chatted, She's had the lad round poor kids not doing so well now. He his normal lively and quite sunny self till something goes wrong, then its emotional explosion time. He dropped the portable DVD player went off on a complete rant, it starts with "I'm useless why cant i do that im totally useless and rubbish at everything" and progresses to acusing the nearest adult of "telling me off horribly and shouting at me" When no one is.... Its areal self loathing then a defence thing to blame others. We couldn't work out what it was about though.