Monday

We just had a phone call. Mr Handy had a heart attack this morning. His wife heard him get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, then a thud, she got to him ,phoned an ambulance, the paramedics gave him something and loaded them in the van. On the way on empty streets but driving like mad they transferd her to the front seat, saying he was ok with this wonder drug... On the ward she was sitting with her son with Mr Handy the doctors asked them to go out for a moment... when they came back they were told he was dead....
Shit last week he was trying to get me to join his "ground braking computer program" and be rich beyond dreams...i said i really was too stupid and not as intelligent as he thought i was. Waffled on till he dropped the idea.
Shit he was the guy who i asked things of, he was the single most intelligent person i've ever met. Mrs handy has family all round her thankfully now...asked me to get funeral directors phone number the one who was sympathetic to our friends wishes... he wanted a transit van and cardboard box funeral... oh fucking shit

How do i feel now? I feel sad, i feel angry that another "best friend" has died... my face feels heavy....I cant believe it, he was the guy with the answers the guy who know about all sorts of things from the strength of metal to the wings of bird...An arch iconoclast and disrespecter of anyone who claimed to "know"..who do i ask now? who do i talk to every Thursday, who fucking who.