Monday

I keep having small panics about going to the dentist tomorrow. I really want not to go or to have it over with or just to run away. Last time i did it six months ago, i tried to think of it as a memorial to my friend. It was her who got a NHS dentist for me. I visited her and moaned that bits were falling off my teeth as i hadn't been to a dentist in more than 15 years. I knew i had three big holes, aches kept at bay by me plugging them with gum etc... She got on the phone, exaggerated like mad, "he's in agony!" Got me an emergency appointment. I went and fuck did it take some ritual to get me there, carried along on fear. I got a nice scots girl straight out of collage, she used to rest her firm breast on my head, which helped, four deep fillings. She said the last one i could have out or a root carnal. Then asked for a second opinion and just filled it normally. Walking out that last day was wonderful... now i know ive had.. what is it?... maybe six inspections with nothing to do, its bound to happen again...