Thursday

Went to friends, she hadnt heard about it. must be the last person round here, thankfully everyone seems to know now.

On the way my son and i dropped off at the beech just to look for sand tumbled coloured glass pebbles. at the edge or the beech were tow middle aged tho trim ladies, i looked up again and one was naked, changeing after her morning swim, brave lady indeed!. The beech cafe put me in mind of our friend. the guy who runs it is the grumpiest cafe owner ive ever met. He once ahd another biz and years ago he had met our friend sociely and made her an offer. He would set her up in a flat and have her as his mistress, she refused. She wasnt into sex, but her breast size attracted guys like flies, egger to play lol. Why he's chosen to lease the beech and cafe i dont know he is amazeingly bad tempered with everyone.

back from her house. We went to collect soem papers and bills etc, try to sort somthing out anyway. Sis, bro in law and our friends old dad (looking so grey and lost, he seems a nice old buffer, tho from what our friend said to me, he wasnt the best father, being hypercriticul etc) and the lad was there. They were debateing wether to drive 300 miles home tonight or not. wife and sis have big girlie girlie chat out side while we entertained the kids. She told wife of our friends death etc, im sure she will tell me, but im not sure i want to know. And the funeral, her hat will be on the coffin. Somehow that gripped my heart like a little hand inside my chest, even writeing it now i feel the same. Its just a hat many would say, its her, more i gues than anything she had. A wide brimed straw hat, dark with musty victorian frens and little featherd false birds all round it. She wore it when she did the punch and judy shows with her ex. And when she sold a magazine i made on the street at Shows. When she had it on she looked happy.