Dam dam

Phone calls im now dredding the phone ringing... Mutual friend just rang in tears. Our friend has been given at most two weeks to live. the vomiting and halucinations are due to obstructed bile. She has been told, son is to go in and chat to doctor this evening.

Why is it so very cruel? She was told a year now its two weeks. And two weeks of .... well i cant say its too painfull.

Mutual friends daughter also had a fit again this morning (she has controled epilepsy). we are all cracking under strain. This is how it feels to sit and wait for your friend to die. i cant stare into this abyss for too long, empathy is a curse now.

Wife phoned her in hospital this evening. She sounded so tired, vague and she didnt know what day it was. In the background i could hear her son and our mutual friend. We said we would visit Saturday. I have to forget this to rest now, everynight i have to be exhausted to sleep.