Tuesday, funeral day.

Half nine. Dotty phoned, she really don't like our friends family, not one little bit. We will see her at the funeral, she said she had been making a hat for the funeral "because i don't go into church with my head uncovered"... what that means i don't know! I suspect she's another lapsed Catholic, which is a religion in its self. I've to collect wife at one then onto Godbotherers work to collect her, back here then to funeral.

Listless morning. Collected wife and zipped to Godbotherers work then back home. They went off to get something to eat while i got ready and fretted about time. They had to scoff their pasties while i didn't feel like eating. I badgered then into the car, at the last minuet i tied a black ribbon on our sons arm as he requested. This morning i had along talk to him about what was going to happen and how we had to say goodbye to our friend and about burial. he behaved very well in church. We arrived just as the hearse was being unloaded. the lad was with the sis and bro in law and their miscalanious children.(grown up).. We walked behind the coffin, i notice the six old guys/pall bearers didn't carry it but pushed it on its trolley. We walked into the church and threaded our way into a quite full church pew. Right behind Hotdog and Handys wife. Odd service the vicar seemed confused and mechanical, the sermon tho short was all over the shop and he went on about reserection in Christ like he didn't believe a word of it. In the sermon preyers were asked for sisters daughters boy friend who had died in Columbia yesterday...Songs were sung and prayers said and sis read a tearful poem. the lad placed a rose on the coffin, brave lad indeed. I don't sing and i didn't think it a good time to prey either. There were more suits there than expected. even one of the collage tutors turned up , he always looks miserable. The vicar said she graduated in 1977, i remember painting 1977 on my school art folder. Godbotherer broke up during a song and i cuddled her, reached round her back and held the wife's hand too. Lots of tears from other, but big boys don't cry.

For some reason the wife wanted to see the hearse take the coffin away from the church, i don't know why. Others hung about to not knowing what to do. No sign of a wake as Fearful suggested, who knows what went on latter. We rushed to the graveyard,walking up the hill past her house, her home help and nurse walked with us, the home help we knew from when we lived on the boat, she worked in the petrol station those years ago. She said she remembered me going in there for a pint of milk and anounceing we'd got married. Aproaching as the service at graveside ended. Quite a big crowd there. They scattered soil on her in turn, even the lad, by now with granddad, who's very good with him. The sis seemed to have cut out our mutual friend and was using granddad as a half way house. Our mutual friend was beside herself with grief, sobbing and red faced. the wife and i cuddled her, but little anyone could do. We hung about chatting to people. I noticed the Gypsy was there, he crumbled some sol and poured it slowly onto her, a small smile and left. She had some sort of quiet love affair with him years ago. Gaylord looked dapper in suit and black beaded shoes, but was sobbing. I chatted to Clockman and his girl friend, she chatted to my wife about babys, i warned him his time of sleeping soundly maybe was coming to and end soon. We were one of last to leave. the kids played and the gravediggers started to fill in the grave. the sound of lumps of earth landing on the coffin made me upset and i rushed them away. Went to Hotdog's for some tea, he paid me the £40 he owed me for the ice cream sign and said he wanted another one, he also gave me a tilly lamp for a project i have in mind. back home exhausted fell asleep on settee, i feel listless still and so fatigued.