Tuesday

Been to Rosemullion head to fish about in rock pools, caught a shrimp and found a starfish! (which is quiet unusual despite the comic book shorthand for rock pools)... found a heard of cows on the beech . they were eating sea weed... spent afternoon at friends place talking to their friend the mega cyclist who's planning to cycle from Egypt to South Africa.

While we were there a couple of their friends turned up, one a weedy shiny booted too old for his look and another podgy "had a breakdown" looking guy, both heavily effected gay men....most strange people from London and not the kind id think they would know at all...

Tuesday

Four fucking minuets, and i was out of the dentist. Took a whole hour of ritual to get me there and two days of panics....

Last day of infants school for our son, across the hallway to the juniors in September. I sat with him playing in the park after school, the ladies round me rattled about kids, all sorts of crap, i was ignored largely.

Monday

I keep having small panics about going to the dentist tomorrow. I really want not to go or to have it over with or just to run away. Last time i did it six months ago, i tried to think of it as a memorial to my friend. It was her who got a NHS dentist for me. I visited her and moaned that bits were falling off my teeth as i hadn't been to a dentist in more than 15 years. I knew i had three big holes, aches kept at bay by me plugging them with gum etc... She got on the phone, exaggerated like mad, "he's in agony!" Got me an emergency appointment. I went and fuck did it take some ritual to get me there, carried along on fear. I got a nice scots girl straight out of collage, she used to rest her firm breast on my head, which helped, four deep fillings. She said the last one i could have out or a root carnal. Then asked for a second opinion and just filled it normally. Walking out that last day was wonderful... now i know ive had.. what is it?... maybe six inspections with nothing to do, its bound to happen again...

Sunday

Last night, i eat too late and suffered a restless night. And a vivid dream. I thought that maybe i was over it all but i'm obviously not. A brush with real evil isn't easy to get over.

I was in the corner of a cold field, maybe snow covered the land but in any case it was grey and cold. Mr Bastard was there, lurking like a slug. He came up to me and i said "I vowed if i ever saw you again that i would hit you..." He walked away frightened. Then i was in a house at the far edge of the field and Mrs Bastard was there, nattering and i was talking to , sweet pleasantries, maybe even apologies. The whole time i had a blunt trowel like thing deep in his back, grinding it between his spinal disks.....

At a guess it means i feel im two faced, a coward.. which is true.

Saturday

What a bummer for Chemical Ali at least, but then Indian men seem to lead a dogs life. He's 300 miles away from home working down here and occasionally his wife comes down or, not very often his kids. His daughter is an ambulance chasing layer who has married the guy who owns the firm, she's just bought a £60K Merc (and that's second hand!), she seemingly awash with cash. So the family have a big family meeting. On the agenda is "shall we top up dads pension and let him retire and move back to the bosom of his family and the great lights of London"....They decided not to. Which must make him feel very loved! I can understand it, he is a pain in the arse, and his kids must be so relived he's far away. But its seems cold to say the least.

Saturday

We went off to the dune for a picnic, taking advantage of one of the few sunny days. We went to Lidel's for the food and bumped into HippieChick who was with her formerly hated mother. her mother looked almost sane, clean at least though still fat in a really unhealthy way all out front and blackened dimpled arms, i notice her teeth on one side appear to have broken off due to rot too. HippieChick looks better than i remember her, thinner and tanned. She told us that her and GothMan have broken up , which is sad. She said she was away at Sheffield Uni and he called her back saying he wanted to marry her. Now he said he wanted to have "fun" and left one day when she was out. I doubt that's the right or full story though. She was ever on the look out for a reason to fail at everything she tries. Possibly the lure of sex on tap had worn off with him and he wanted to go with his boozy mates, maybe there's more than meets the eye.

Saturday

One of the mums sat down with me last week on the bench in the park, looking worried. Her daughter looks cute but is a bit "difficult" at times, and the darling had decided that all the other girls had loose teeth in her class and she wanted one, so spent all night extraction one of her own milk teeth! Came out root an' all, covered in blood she was!......

wednesday

Karma again.... the wife got to send out a threatening letter to a fomer "job from hell" employer and yesterday the " bastard" phoned up to complain about being threatened with legal action due to not paying a bill for three months....Someone else took the call, got sworn at, went to boss and got them Black Listed, so they wont be dealing with them ever again!...result!

Today the office were discussing the rude buggers, asking round if anyone had actually worked for them, to which the wife admitted, she told them "the partners were horrible and deeply unpleasant, so anyone who stayed there must be just as bad"... "and it was the only place where one of the employees was actively trying to kill the head bastard"!... the poor girl had worked there since she was sixteen with no hope of escape, she told the wife that the head bastards father had keeled over with a instantly lethal stroke, and when he was shouting at her she watched the throbbing vein in his forehead, his dad had just such a vein, and smiled , which always made him go madder with rage. She was a Sunday school teacher too, such is the hate that some people can brew up.